Breaking free

I was awakened by a message that left me dumbfounded for a while. But that message led me to reflect on the whole situation, just as I thought I knew what I was doing, in reality, I am very much confused.

I searched to the bottom of my heart, where did all the resentment come from, and why am I getting so worked up over everything. Well, issues suddenly turned really trivial, come to think of it, I am clueless why I reacted this way. Maybe its because I took the whole thing to seriously or perhaps just a conflict of interests and expectations, differences in definition.

Soon after, I shared it with my few closest brothers and went for intercessory. Something was just telling me to break free from this bondage of self pity, resentment and see things from another light. Though it might not be favourable on my side. But well, that's the only way I can go now. Continue this and I would land myself to an even more miserable state, break free and I would be a much happier person.

Today, I manage to encounter a community that I can rely on, a community that I can safely call my second family. Thanks guys for everything...would still have to rely on you guys in the years to come.

Encountering the situation once again, I would have to move on despite the state of awkwardness and discomfort, I would have to still be that spiritual brother that radiate the love of Christ and not that helpless romantic that would jeopardise the entire situation and paralyse both of us, resulting in an end of this wonderful journey God has put forth for us.

Getting all these straight allowed me to discover one thing. We often resent, but when we finally cool down and think, these issues are often really trivial. The possible reasons for us to feel this way are-- ego or perhaps this person is really too important to us and that one action would mess our entire lives up.

Break free and in return, get a peace of mind...

Relationships & crystals

Relationships can be comparable to crystal ornaments.

Crystal ornaments are first of all unique, you can never really find crystals that are exactly the same. They are so pretty, looking at it just brings you pleasure. They are so precious, you would want to look at it almost every moment in your lives. But once you unintentionally break it, it will never be the same again. Some might argue that we can glue them back together, but it would still be different as its original state.

Some would take the chance to embrace this brokeness and see the beauty in this broken crystal, appreciating the beauty of its new state. Often, we keep it in our drawers and bid it goodbye.

Won't it be a pity? What happened to all the love and appreciation you showered this crystal with when it was still pretty and your eye candy? What happened to all the pleasure it provided you when it was pretty? What happened to its value in your lives? Would it just be thrown away?

We should appreciate every relationship. It is a journey that is unique to itself, it gives experience that would not be experienced elsewhere. In the end when things turn sour, we should accept adversities and grow from it, seeing adversities as beauty as well. In that way, conflicts and what not would be seen as elements to help one's relationship grow instead of the factor that breaks it all up into small fragments.

The crystal can provide much pleasure to the eye, but dust would soon bury its beauty. It is also the job of the owner to maintain it so as to enjoy its beauty. This brings the elements of mutual ownership and invovlement. It is a shared relationship, not a one-sided one.

Some crystals are imperfect to some, but perfect to the other. Perfection is in the eyes of the beholder, one should never be under the influence of others, but trust in his/her own taste and pick on that is perfect to oneself and one that he/she would commit to maintaining and accepting till the end of time.

Take time to search, decide then commit...

That's what friends are for- Dionne Warwick

For full lyrics
http://www.geocities.com/hbkduke/Friends_4_DW.html

And I never thought I'd feel this way
And as far as I'm concerned
I'm glad I got the chance to say
That I do believe I love you
And if I should ever go away
Well, then close your eyes and try to feel
The way we do today
And then if you can remember

Keep smilin', keep shinin'
Knowin' you can always count on me, for sure
That's what friends are for
For good times and bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
That's what friends are for

Well, you came and opened me
And now there's so much more I see
And so by the way I thank you

Whoa, and then for the times when we're apart
Well, then close your eyes and know
These words are comin' from my heart
And then if you can remember, oh

The Solemnity of Christ the King

Today marks the end of the liturgical year. It has been a day of feelings for me I guess, ups and downs, fun and also deep thoughts.

It all started with welcoming my cute little godson, Kieran into the church. Its now my responsibility to bring him up as a faithful and good catholic. The journey has just started. I hope my family members would be around to help me with it, I turst that they will!

Well, I spoke with Gerald abit then went for a meeting. Rushed off for housewarming after that.

It was kinda awkward during that event, things were unnatural and abnormal. I shall not go on elaborating and whining about it. I seem to put the blame on someone else and see myself at a losing end, somehow engaging in self pity. That brought my mood really down and bad memories started to flashback and brought into my heart resentment, hurt and discontent.

I guess it was God's call for me to dissolve all these evil feelings when I was asked to accompany someone for mass.

In the homily, Fr. Brian spoke about how Jesus differed from any other kings. He had no control, nor army nor riches but he managed to inspire the hearts of many. He in his most helpless state manifested power of righteousness, love, peserverance and sacrifise. He then spoke about true love is one that one party is willing to give up one's self for the other. This really brought me to think if the love that I proclaim to have was genuine, since all that is in me is resentment and hurt.

Look a walk along clarque quay and got things sorted out. I guess there are some elements of that in this special friendship but it's always been one way, am I wrong to be tired and draw away from it subtly? Of course, some may aruge that it's about peserverance, but, things are not going anywhere...does this friendship worth so much value? I doubt...

I am not really pitying myself but I think too many wrong signals have been shown that has resulted in some misunderstandings. I am guilty of it sometimes too...but I think we shouldn't lead people on with misleading words or actions, as it causes emotional hurt which would affect ones life.

Well, I would be in the wrong if I confront the situation and just break this friendship as both parties would get hurt.

A successful relationship requires:
1) Mutual ownership
2) A conviction in both's hearts
3) Commitment
4) Growth
5) Sensitivity

Which of these elements are present now?

Thanks for the happy times, the bad times, everything...

DIRECTION???

The art in me

Today, I visited an art exhibition in my church. The exhibits were fabulous, really good, pictures ranging from nature to the magnificent churches in the world.

These art pieces reflect a few points that might not occur very much to us. Many people think appreciation of art is just looking at how intricate or beautiful an artpiece is, others look at the colour combination or features of the characters in the art piece. However, there is really more to it.

1. Art reflects talents that God has bestowed on you.

2. Art reflects the artist's personality and interests.

3. Art reflects the artist's message to you

4. Art reflects the beauty of God's creation.

Puting an artpiece together reflects our faith. If you ask any artists, no one completes a piece without mistakes, he tries and tries and after many tries, get his beautiful picture. Our faith too, is not smooth sailing. We make mistakes, we fall. However , there are some people who ignore it, some who avoid it and some who are too tired to change it, therefore hand up a shabby piece of art. Does this occur to anyone of us?

Upon reflecting on my life, it has indeed been pieces of art, a collection of masterpieces that God, in collaboration with my parents and people around me has pieced together. It had been re-drawn many times, the colour combination has changed many times, but everytime it changes, it looks better and better.

Lately, the colours have not been so bright due to certain disappointments with people around me, with certain vices that has been splashing loads of black paint onto this masterpiece. However, I trust that God is ready to embrace it and take away these black paints with his powers. I pray that I am able to surrender this entire drawing to him and be at his disposal. That me might one day be proud of this piece of art and put it in an exhibition for others to appreciate.

O God, you search me and you know me
All my thoughts are open to your gaze
When I walk or lie down you are before me
Ever the maker and keeper of my days.

You know my resting and my rising
You discern my purpose from afar
And with love everlasting you bessech me
In every moment of lie or death you are.

AMEN!

Blessed be the Lord, my rock Ps 143: 1-4

Today we celebrate the last friday in ordinary time.

The liturgy is centered on Jesus, our rock, the dependable pillar which will never foresake us. One line of the psalm that strikes me is-- Lord, what is man that you care for him, mortal man, that you keep in mind; man, who is merely a breath whose life fades like a passing shadow. It speaks of the immense love that the Lord has for humanity. Indeed, it is this love that has formed a covenant and brought us redemption.

In the gospel, Christ reveals that he is destined to sudder grievously for the redemption of mankind. As we read, we call to mind not only salvation but the call to embrace the cross. Do we indulge in self-pity when we suffer? Do we curse at people who brought us suffering. O well, most of the times we do, at least for him. I remember once how I lost faith and had a long debate with God when I faced a certain adversity in my life, but afterwhich, I realise I could use this story to affirm the faith of others. God works in his own ways, sometimes really surprising. but always for our benefit.

This week's liturgy speaks alot about being the rock of the church, that we are all stones that form the foundation of the church, without us, there would be no church. Of course, this comes with much suffering, much peserverence. Well, ministry is never easy, as the saying goes, success comes with alot of hard work. Let us be reminded that to bear witness to our faith, we need to suffer, but for a greater glory, a greater purpose. Previously, we are reminded that Christ will always be with us in times of adversity. Let us cling on to this pillar and never lose faith.

As we close the liturgical year, let us recollect and prepare well for the coming of Christ, and of course look forward to deepen our faith in the Lord in the years to come.

AMEN!

How Great is Our God- Chris Tomlin

From the album Arriving

The splendor of the King
Clothed in majesty
Let all the earth rejoice, all the earth rejoice
He wraps himself in light
And darkness tries to hide
And trembles at His voice, And trembles at His voice

Chorus:
How great is our God
Sing with me
How great is our God
And all will see
How great, how great is our God

Age to age He stands
And time is in His hands
Beginning and the End, Beginning and the End
The Godhead, Three in One
Father, Spirit, Son
The Lion and the Lamb, Lion and the Lamb

Chorus:(2x’s)

Name above all names
Worthy of all praise
My heart will sing how great is our God(3x’s)

Chorus:

Who do people say I am. Matt 16: 13-19

In this section of the gospel of Matthew, Christ puts forth a very fundamental question, that is simple yet really deep.

This passage is really relevant to our world today. As we look at these lines, we see disciples giving a spectrum of differing answers about the perception of Christ, that is also the case in today's world. What is the image of Christ in today's world? Is he a fortune provider, just a idol to worship in a ritual, a saviour, a friend? I guess we all have differing perception of the Christ. This perception of Christ would form a foundation for our faith journey. If our perception of Christ is one of fear, our faith would also be one of fear. If it is just a idol, our faith would be driven by visuals and liturgical action. If its a friend, it would indeed be an intimate one.

Of course, some might not even have an idea of who Christ is. If that is the case, growth in the faith might be affected. Our human instincts are driven by feelings, if there is no relationship or feeling, we will not be bothered to commit in something.

But do we just leave people hanging in the air like that? Later in this passage, Jesus told Peter-- You are Peter and on this rock I would build my church. We might think that this statement is only targetted to Peter and is of no relevance to us. However, take note that Peter represents the Church-- US, hence we are all rocks and foundations of the church, we are to be involved in the building of the church. The Vatican II doctrines teach that the laity share in the ministerial priesthood.

Having that in mind, we are called to bring more to salvation, to build the church allowing her to grow for the betterment of souls and to give glory to God. Are we going forth to fulfill our mission, are we spirit-filled, or are we ashamed of being Catholics, hiding our identity because we want to fit with the majority? Hence, today we pray for discernment of our mission, we pray that God uses our gifts to build his church, to be firm rocks grounded in faith and that the Church be one with vibrancy, with spirit-filled members and that more would be aware of their call and spread salvation to people around them.

Today, the church celebrates the memorial of St. Clement I, pope and martyr. May we be inspired by his strong faith and become active preachers of the word and partake in the minisrty of the church.

All powerful and ever living God, we praise your power and glory revealed to us by the lives of all your saints. Give us joy and peace on this feast of St. Clement, your priest and martyr, who bore witness with his blood to the love he proclaimed and the gospel be preached. We ask this in Christ's most holy name.
AMEN!

Not a hair on your head will be lost- Lk 21: 12-19

"Men will seize you and persecute you...", "You will be hated however not a hair on our head will be lost..."

In today's gospel, we are called to mind about the challenge we face as Christ's defenders and warriors of the faith.

Challenge often comes when there are conflicting views between the world's wordly pespective and the church's dogmatic teachings. For example, the issue of morality. The world sees this issue very lightly and therefore resulting in the proliferation of pre-marital sex, pornography, homosexuality and other immoral acts. We as members of society are too faced with such vices, however, we are also reminded that we are children of God, are we going to succumb to such worldy tempataions, becoming followers of this world trend or are we going to be defenders of the faith?

Luke reminds us that we would face such persecution, which will we choose? Though persecution may not come in the form of military attacks, it may come as snide comments made by people around us, sometimes our closest friends, which would be a form of emotional hurt. Sometimes, its in the form of being excluded, others, feeling out of place, or even we ourselves thinking we are wierd. Contradiction and persecution can come even within us. This would be the devil's trick of bringing us away from the grace of God as it pleases him the most.

Christ reminds us that we would face contradiction, but if we do it for his glory, the kingdom of heaven would be ours. Let us hence reflect on the choices we make in life. In times where our choices do not fit into the majority, and we feel ostracised or excluded, let us remember that we are included in a bigger kingdom- the Kingdom of Heaven.

We need not fear being harmed because of our christian stand as God promised in scripture-- Not a hair on your head will be lost. Your endurance will win you your lives. In this case, I will view it as eternal life.

Let us take a moment to think and reflect on our Christian call and allow Christ to give us strength to resist such temptations and stay close to him. Let us pray in faith that NOT A HAIR ON YOUR HEAD WILL BE LOST!

Amen.