Today marks the end of the liturgical year. It has been a day of feelings for me I guess, ups and downs, fun and also deep thoughts.
It all started with welcoming my cute little godson, Kieran into the church. Its now my responsibility to bring him up as a faithful and good catholic. The journey has just started. I hope my family members would be around to help me with it, I turst that they will!
Well, I spoke with Gerald abit then went for a meeting. Rushed off for housewarming after that.
It was kinda awkward during that event, things were unnatural and abnormal. I shall not go on elaborating and whining about it. I seem to put the blame on someone else and see myself at a losing end, somehow engaging in self pity. That brought my mood really down and bad memories started to flashback and brought into my heart resentment, hurt and discontent.
I guess it was God's call for me to dissolve all these evil feelings when I was asked to accompany someone for mass.
In the homily, Fr. Brian spoke about how Jesus differed from any other kings. He had no control, nor army nor riches but he managed to inspire the hearts of many. He in his most helpless state manifested power of righteousness, love, peserverance and sacrifise. He then spoke about true love is one that one party is willing to give up one's self for the other. This really brought me to think if the love that I proclaim to have was genuine, since all that is in me is resentment and hurt.
Look a walk along clarque quay and got things sorted out. I guess there are some elements of that in this special friendship but it's always been one way, am I wrong to be tired and draw away from it subtly? Of course, some may aruge that it's about peserverance, but, things are not going anywhere...does this friendship worth so much value? I doubt...
I am not really pitying myself but I think too many wrong signals have been shown that has resulted in some misunderstandings. I am guilty of it sometimes too...but I think we shouldn't lead people on with misleading words or actions, as it causes emotional hurt which would affect ones life.
Well, I would be in the wrong if I confront the situation and just break this friendship as both parties would get hurt.
It all started with welcoming my cute little godson, Kieran into the church. Its now my responsibility to bring him up as a faithful and good catholic. The journey has just started. I hope my family members would be around to help me with it, I turst that they will!
Well, I spoke with Gerald abit then went for a meeting. Rushed off for housewarming after that.
It was kinda awkward during that event, things were unnatural and abnormal. I shall not go on elaborating and whining about it. I seem to put the blame on someone else and see myself at a losing end, somehow engaging in self pity. That brought my mood really down and bad memories started to flashback and brought into my heart resentment, hurt and discontent.
I guess it was God's call for me to dissolve all these evil feelings when I was asked to accompany someone for mass.
In the homily, Fr. Brian spoke about how Jesus differed from any other kings. He had no control, nor army nor riches but he managed to inspire the hearts of many. He in his most helpless state manifested power of righteousness, love, peserverance and sacrifise. He then spoke about true love is one that one party is willing to give up one's self for the other. This really brought me to think if the love that I proclaim to have was genuine, since all that is in me is resentment and hurt.
Look a walk along clarque quay and got things sorted out. I guess there are some elements of that in this special friendship but it's always been one way, am I wrong to be tired and draw away from it subtly? Of course, some may aruge that it's about peserverance, but, things are not going anywhere...does this friendship worth so much value? I doubt...
I am not really pitying myself but I think too many wrong signals have been shown that has resulted in some misunderstandings. I am guilty of it sometimes too...but I think we shouldn't lead people on with misleading words or actions, as it causes emotional hurt which would affect ones life.
Well, I would be in the wrong if I confront the situation and just break this friendship as both parties would get hurt.
A successful relationship requires:
1) Mutual ownership
2) A conviction in both's hearts
3) Commitment
4) Growth
5) Sensitivity
Which of these elements are present now?
Thanks for the happy times, the bad times, everything...
DIRECTION???
No comments:
Post a Comment