I was awakened by a message that left me dumbfounded for a while. But that message led me to reflect on the whole situation, just as I thought I knew what I was doing, in reality, I am very much confused.
I searched to the bottom of my heart, where did all the resentment come from, and why am I getting so worked up over everything. Well, issues suddenly turned really trivial, come to think of it, I am clueless why I reacted this way. Maybe its because I took the whole thing to seriously or perhaps just a conflict of interests and expectations, differences in definition.
Soon after, I shared it with my few closest brothers and went for intercessory. Something was just telling me to break free from this bondage of self pity, resentment and see things from another light. Though it might not be favourable on my side. But well, that's the only way I can go now. Continue this and I would land myself to an even more miserable state, break free and I would be a much happier person.
Today, I manage to encounter a community that I can rely on, a community that I can safely call my second family. Thanks guys for everything...would still have to rely on you guys in the years to come.
Encountering the situation once again, I would have to move on despite the state of awkwardness and discomfort, I would have to still be that spiritual brother that radiate the love of Christ and not that helpless romantic that would jeopardise the entire situation and paralyse both of us, resulting in an end of this wonderful journey God has put forth for us.
Getting all these straight allowed me to discover one thing. We often resent, but when we finally cool down and think, these issues are often really trivial. The possible reasons for us to feel this way are-- ego or perhaps this person is really too important to us and that one action would mess our entire lives up.
Break free and in return, get a peace of mind...
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